I'm going to be baptized!!

If you read my mobile post earlier you already knew. As I mentioned in a previous blog, I have been wanting to be baptized. For the last two weeks it has really been on my heart because of the baptisms at church. Seeing so many people dedicate their lives, or re-dedicate their lives has been inspiring. Both of the previous two Sabbaths I have found myself frozen and unable to walk to the front of the church during the altar call. Both times I felt nauseous, shaking, and just unable to move. Last week after service, BFF and I had a lengthy discussion about why I'd passed up a second opportunity to make the walk and ask to be baptized. I didn't think I'd get another chance so soon (although I COULD have called the pastor any day during the week.) I didn't know we'd have another baptism today! But third times the charm. I wasn't nauseous, though I was shaking. I stood up, walked out of the mother's room, into the sanctuary, and just walked. I knew I couldn't stop or look at ANYONE or I'd probably not finish the walk.

But by the time I got to the front, I felt strangely calm.

It was as if once I made those steps, God wouldn't let Satan walk the rest of the way with me. And I know it's been Satan stopping me. He's been doing it for YEARS. I thank God today for helping me to feel that calm. :)

I got a big surprise though. After standing at the front for a couple minutes, I hear the pastor say "We have two now" and I was a little surprised. I walked up there alone. I turned a little because NO ONE was beside me, and to my surprise, BFF's DS2 is there. PRAISE THE LORD! I know I had a shocked look on my face, fortunately only the pastor and elder in front of me could see it as I was facing away from the congregation. But when I returned to the mother's room a bit later, BFF was in tears, fortunately tears of joy!! He is young, but I know his heart is there. He had asked BFF about being baptized after the first baptism's 2 weeks ago. She had said at the time that he needed to learn about what it means. I know she and her DH with the pastor's help, will guide him very well in this process.

I spoke briefly with the pastor a little later and it looks like my baptism (along with others) will be in mid August. BFF told me her DS2's will probably take longer. A part of me wishes we could both be baptized together, but I know due to his age, he does need more time to prepare. The pastor will be coming over this week to talk to us.

This has been a process MANY years in the making. When I was 2 years old my parents found a church to call home, and that was the church we attended, very regularly. Until I was about 11 1/2 years old. MANY people had begun to drift away from that church, many going to a differently church in town, over some internal issues within the church. I didn't understand, I was too young. In retrospect, it appears (from what I CAN recall and what my mother tells me) that there was some DEFINITE difference of opinions between LONG time members of the congregation and the pastor who'd only been there a few years. People left over it.

Well, the church had a policy of no baptisms before the age of 16, and even then a baptized minor still couldn't vote or be a member of the church board, etc. In many ways this was a BAD policy. It is telling a young person that they are incapable of dedicating themselves to God until they reach a certain age. And that even after they are "worthy" enough to dedicate themselves, they STILL aren't good enough to vote on church issues.

So when my mother made the decision to stop attending church when I was 11 1/2 years old, I hadn't had a CHANCE to be baptized. Did I want to, I don't know. When you grow up being told "not til you are 16" you don't really look inside your heart and decide. But unlike the other members of our church, my mother just stopped going. She allowed a secular organization come to rule our calendar and therefore our lives. I know for months after my sister asked if we could go, but mom would say no. And later when I asked her to drive me to church she'd be too tired. So it wasn't until high school when a friend with a car invited me that I began to attend again. For close to a year I attended regularly. But then she graduated and left for college and I had no way to get there again.

Once I got my license I started taking myself. And for the next several years I tried many different churches. But I never seemed to fit with them. And I couldn't always say why. Some I had issues with their doctrines, some because it seemed the pastor was giving political opinions from the pulpit. But some I couldn't tell you.

It took a while but I have finally found the church that fits most closely to my own beliefs. I am excited to become a member of the church, and most importantly to have God in my life and my heart. :)

Today is a BEAUTIFUL glorious day!

I have ALWAYS loved the following verse, and I think it is very fitting for me today:

But Jesus looked at them and said, “With men it is impossible, but not with God; for with God all things are possible.” Mark 10:27 NKJV