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Tooting my own horn
>> Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Okay, this is one of those things where we all know we aren't supposed to talk about it because either we are being rude to those who are struggling with it or we are just being show off-y.
But you know what, I have been working hard at it and when we work hard at almost ANYTHING ELSE in our lives, we are allowed to toot our own horn. So you know what, I'm going to anyway.
Over the last MANY months I have worked VERY hard to learn self-control, to learn to say no thank you. And to learn what is best for me. I have worked hard to lose weight.
When I was young weight was NOT an issue for me. I was the LUCKY one who could eat ANYTHING and never gain an ounce. And then I got older. I stopped dancing during college and the weight went on. I stopped swimming, and the weight went on. I became and EMT and sat around for 12-24 hours eating fast food and waiting for a call and the weight went on. I am largely to blame for many of those things. I could have found more constructive ways to use my time when I stopped dancing and swimming. I could have worked out on my own, I choose not to. I could have eating healthier and smaller portions, even when eating out frequently, as an EMT, and I could have and SHOULD HAVE worked out more. Those were MY CHOICES. And I will admit to those mistakes.
And then I got married and made the decision to join the Army and lost weight to be able to do so. The day I got married I weighed approximately 175 pounds and wore a size 12 (in 2004). I stand at 5'8". Seven months to the day later, when I left for Basic training, I weighed 168 pounds (not a significant weight loss, but it was a combination of loss of fat and gain in muscle) and wore a size 10.
Approximately 12 weeks later, I left basic training and NONE of my clothes fit. We went to a mall to get me some pants that fit. I could tolerate the shirts hanging on me, but NOT the pants. When we FINALLY found a scale and some pants that fit I was SHOCKED. Basic Training had brought me down to 152 pounds and a SIZE 6! WOW. After AIT (advance training) I was up to about 158 to 160 pounds ( a more manageable weight really) and a size 6-8 depending on the manufacturer. About 2 months later I got pregnant and it was all over.
I had twins, I was told to gain 60 pounds. With a starting weight of 160 pounds, the doctor wanted me to end my pregnancy at about 220 pounds. I ended at 37.5 weeks at 218 pounds. 1 week post partum I weighed 185 pounds, 6 weeks post-partum I weighed 185 pounds, 6 months post-partum I weighed 185 pounds. Seemed like NOTHING I did would take the weight off, I was STUCK at 185. I was in size 12 and STUCK.
And then I gained. In a matter of 6 weeks I sky rockected to over 200 pounds, and within another 6 weeks I was all the way to 220. And I stayed there. Sure I could get my weight up and down a little, but I basically stayed right there. And endured insults from someone who shouldn't have been giving them. I made excuses for that person. Until finally I didn't have to make any more excuses for them. Because that person finally walked out of my life.
Once I started to feel some happiness starting to creep back into my life I started to lose weight slowly, but my own eating habits were not helping me any. Once I got out of that toxic enviornment and was getting healthier meals and encouragement and was even happier the weight starting to come off even more. That was when I made some changes. I started to pay more attention to what I ate, and even started working out somewhat.
Then I got sick last month. I felt like I'd had lap band surgery!! I could barely eat!!! It helped though. I went with it. I worked hard to make sure what I ate COUNTED. I have made sure what I hate was nutritionally dense and good for me. LOTS of protein and veggies, low on refined sugars and processed foods period. I do still fall for my Starbucks drinks, especially with the special Christmas drinks, but I do order non fat, and I limit the number of times I get whipped cream. I eat Reese's Peanut Butter Cups EVERY day. But with a purpose. I get a 15 minute break at work. The peanut butter in them provides a GREAT source of protein, and compared to the calories, it's not too bad. It keeps me from being too hungry for the rest of my shift. This is especially important with as little actual food as I am eating lately! The pounds are really coming off lately.
I haven't seen the scale slip below 190 in over 3 years. This morning it read 189.0 I nearly cried.
I pulled out my box of old pants. I pulled out 4 pairs that now FIT, 2 pairs that I decided will never again fit properly due to changes in my body (hips moving out with pregnancy, baby belly), and ONLY put back 4 pair!!! I'm so excited!!!!!!! :)
